The ongoing saga of the month is the chimney, raising up just above our terrace, spewing black chunks of ash all over our pretty new terrace tiles as well as the tables, chairs and people enjoying the sunny Istanbul fall. The chimney is not ours, it belongs to the neighboring çarşı (market area). This particular çarşı is owned by a vakif (something between a foundation, a business association and a charitable trust), therefore having about a dozen owners, half of which are locatable, one of which is (sometimes) present in the neighborhood.

Our communication has been with the smily security guards, who, despite their complete lack of power, tried comfort us with their daily lies of ‘the worker will come this afternoon’ ‘we’ll come and take a look’ ‘tomorrow we will come’. The issue is this : the chimney used to be used for coal-burning oven, heating the shop below. It has since been converted to natural gas, but the chimney is so dirty, it continues to spew soot.

After two months of pleading, negotiating, threatening, crying, getting angry, being nice, bringing friends, going alone, it was clear that nothing was going to happen. I retreated, defeated, to the office of Ceylan Metal, (our renters and friends).  I told them the story and they kindly offered to take care of it.

I asked what they were going to do about it and they just said not to worry. They went on to explain how they did it in the villages, long ago. They would take a very lively, snow white chicken and stuff it down the top of the chimney. The chicken, in panic about its inability to fly, would desperately flap its wings as it tumbled down the shaft.  It would come out the bottom, pitch black, covered in the soot. Repeat if necessary. Great idea! The sell chickens in Eminönü!

A few days have passed, still no chickens or chimney sweeps. Off to scrub the terrace again.

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